Okay, I’ll start my first post of the Dark Side of the Moon saying that I wouldn’t dare trash talking anything that Jared Padalecki appears, but I couldn’t stop myself on bringing this movie to debut this blog column.
That’s right, as weird as it sounds, I’m not a fan of House of Wax. Like, I agree, it isn’t the worst of the worst – a lot of people like it – but I can’t love it that much. Even though the cast is great, I can’t. That’s why I’m pretty sure it belongs on the Dark Side of the Moon for many reasons to my eyes.
Are you ready for a trip on this house filled with good acting and that I was more scared to talk about them than the movie itself?
1, 2, 3… Let’s go!
House of Wax is a horror movie from Australia/USA released in 2005 and directed by Jaume Collet-Serra, starred by:
Elisha Cuthbert – who interpreted Kim Bauer, daughter of Jack Bauer on the very successful action series 24, in which she was one of the four characters who appears in all seasons.
Chad Michael Murray – known for playing Lucas Scott on the teenage drama series One Tree Hill (2003-2009), he also starred on Dawson’s Creek, and played Tristan Dugray on Gilmore Girls, also playing agend Jack Thompson on Marvel/ABC series Agent Carter, besides starring on movies like Freaky Friday (2003), the New Cinderella (2004) and House of Wax (2005). In 2019, he got cast to Riverdale as the recurring character Edgar Evernever.
Brian Van Holt – known for his role in House of Wax.
Paris Hilton – who doesn’t know this name, right? A North American actress, socialite, model, singer, DJ, entrepreneur and author. She is the great-granddaughter of Conrad Hilton, founder of Hilton Hotels.
Jared Padalecki – he got certain fame after starring on Gilmore Girls, as well as many movies, including House of Wax and Friday 13th. But he is mostly known for his character Sam Winchester on the TV series Supernatural.
Jon Abrahams – starring in many movies and TV series, his most known roles are: Bobby in Scary Movie, Dalton Chapman on the horror House of Wax and Denny Byrnes on Ben Stiller’s comedy Meet the Parents. He’s also known for interpreting “DJ Jonny” on The Ellen DeGeneres Show during its fourth season, replacing Tony Okungbowa.
Robert Ri’chard – he is a North American actor. He participated in House of Wax as Blake, as well as a minor role on the series My Wife and Kids as Junior’s friend. He also acted as Damien Carter, Ken Carter’s son on the movie Coach Carter.
It is sometimes called a remake of the 1953 movie with the same name, which was a remake of the movie Mystery of the Wax Museum from 1933, but the 2005 plot is completely different from the plot of the two previous movies.
It got into the list of best teen horror movies ever made – which I really don’t understand and don’t even try to, but I don’t take away its merit because the cast is pretty good. Obviously, my opinion isn’t the only one in this world: House of Wax got mixed reviews in general after its release. The cast is usually praised, as I talked about before, but in special Cuthbert.
The movie got more than 12 million dollars after its three first days on the big screen. And later, it would gather an amount of more than 70 million dollars worldwide, against a budget of 40 million – yes, I think it was very successful for the time and the genre, once later it came to be the seventh horror movie with biggest box office in 2005.
Nowadays, it’s 30th position on the list of biggest box offices of all time (on North American market) in the slasher horror genre. Once I can’t avoid it: it has become a classic.
Although there are some controversies about the movie, it got some awards.
House of Wax – About the Plot
In 1974 – I was forced to search the time because I couldn’t remember it anymore – a woman is making a wax sculpture on her kitchen, while her son has breakfast on his chair. Her husband enters the kitchen with another son who is screaming and crying. The child struggles and is tied to a chair. He kicks the table, making the sculpture fall on the ground and scratch his mother’s hand.
On the present, we have Carly (Cuthbert), her twin brother Nick (Murray), her boyfriend Wade (Padalecki), her best friend Paige (Hilton), Paige’s boyfriend Blake (Ri’chard) and Blake’s friend Dalton (Abrahams), who are on their way to a very anticipated football game in Louisiana.
The night falls and the group decides to camp. Yes, the cliche of the camp in the middle of nowhere where a car appears and leaves its headlights on, making everyone tense – at least if they weren’t tense, I’d be, starting with the “camping in the middle of nowhere” thing.
But obviously it can’t end there, we need someone who’s all brave and cocky or there’s no movie, right? And if we don’t have Nick, who destroys one of the headlights making the car leave the camp, we clearly have nothing. A round of applause to Nick, my dear readers.
We knew this would happen, after all what goes around comes around right? So, next morning, Wade finds his car has been damaged. We’re talking about the 2000’s right? So obviously there’s a scene in which people decide to change their clothes out of the blue – so, while Carly and Paige do that, they notice a terrible smell.
Obviously it’s the starting point of everything, because Carly decides to find out where the smell comes from and falls on a pet cemetery.
Finding a pet cemetery is not enough, so the group meets a guy called Lester (Herriman), who offers a ride for Wade and Carly – friendly, right? But look, the movie teaching you to trust strangers blindly and, while Wade and Carly go to the next town to buy a new piece for the car, their friends Paige, Dalton, Nick and Blake go to the football game.
While they wait for Bo, a mechanic who is in a city funeral, which looks more like a ghost town, both of them visit the wax museum – a place made literally of wax, which looks like the main tourist attraction on town. Wade is dazzeled with the place, while Carly gets frightened on seeing the image of a man on the window and asks to leave.
Okay, let’s talk about Wade! He certainly has the typical characteristic of adventurous character who likes things that are at least peculiar. And Carly, although falling on my concept the moment she went after the weird smell out of nowhere, was the most intelligent one for me.
Even because, let’s observe the elements:
- The man on the truck;
- The broken car;
- A person offering a ride in the middle of nowhere;
- A funeral;
- Ghost Town;
- Too friendly people;
- And besides a HOUSE ALL MADE OF WAX and it wasn’t even of famous people?
I have to admit, horror movie’s cliches sometimes shock me.
Wade gets into the mechanic shop and searches for his car parts by himself. Bo appears and says the one he’s looking for is on his house, and both follow him. On the way, the man tells them the tragic story of the Sinclair family, previous town inhabitants.
When they get to the house, Wade asks to use the bathroom – but ends up getting into a forbidden room, when he is attacked and stabbed by a mysterious figure in the dark. Outside, Carly finds out that Bo’s truck is the same our dearest NICK broke on the previous night.
She tries to run, but she’s attacked by him and we find out that the funeral is only made of wax sculptures. Carly is captured by Bo, who takes her to the basement of his store, and straps her in a chair, sealing her lips with glue – ok, I have to admit that this part might have been interesting enough.
As incredible as it sounds, without further details, Paige, the character created to be the first one to die (because we all know very well about the prejudice that time with more fragile characters) isn’t the first one to die, but her boyfriend.
In Ambrose, Nick and Dalton find the town completely empty and decide to get split.
BAD IDEA FROM THE START.
But, without bad ideas, there’s no movie!
In all ways, the vibe at the start of the movie is of a thriller and ends up being good, but, after they get to the town, everything happens a little too fast – leaving us only with the deaths of the characters that, even though we know are going to happen, we always expect a little more fright and thrill envolved.
I was watching this movie once again and remember only falling asleep at the momment the deaths started – and it should be the most important element of the movie.
But I do remember liking the fact that Carly kills the killers and the siblings escape at the last moment before the museum melts entirely. The fact that it isn’t just one survivor or that both survivors were the siblings, was something to consider as a strong point in the movie. Even because it was siblings protecting siblings, both on the side of the killers and the side of the survivors.
We can admit that the movie is in this category of the sides of the moon because it focus only on its cast (something that I’ll never complain about, even because it was a very good cast choice) and not directly on its story, which would have a lot to add and excite its audience – but it ended up focusing on killing everyone in a grotesque and fast manner just so they could have their surviving heroes at the end.
The Sisterhood of the Moon ended up fitting this movie quite well on this column, what do you think? Did you like it when you watched for the first time? Leave your comment telling us your version of the critique, all kinds of thoughts are welcome!
And always remember: take it as a joke – if you like this movie, nothing stops you to like it!
Dark Side of the Moon on Lune Station
And I’ll also leave Hek’s and Art’s posts, with their choices of movies for the Dark Side of the Moon, so you can read it and tell us what you thought of those movies as well!